Jan. 30th. Update

I'm really at a jumbled up frame of mind as I sit here trying to gather my emotions and thoughts so I can put into words, "on paper" so to speak, what my world is like right now; my world with my first born laying in a hospital bed in pain, confused, frustrated and not able to figure out that "the world" she is in right now is not normal. I guess I'm assuming, maybe incorrectly, that she's "thinking" it's not normal. In reality, who knows what she's thinking, who knows what she knows or doesn't know.

I'm making these statements based on a conversation that I had this morning with Kris's mother, Pat, who was able to see Kris recently.

An assessment of what Pat shared with me is that Kris has been opening her eyes, moving and speaking very short sentenances and is able to eat when fed. It is evident to Pat that Kris has suffered trauma to her brain and that has affected her responses and delayed her recognition of who people are, where she is, date and time, etc. At times she responded appropriately and immediately and other times she was obviously confused. Pat didn't say anything about reports of the condition and status of Kris's spinal injury however she did say that Kris did pull out her catheter, (ooww) so that will give you an idea of her ability to move, and so on a humorus ending note, Thank You Lord for that.

Saturday morning - I was expecting a call last night from Pat or Tonya on Kris's condition - didn't come in; that's ok. This morning as I read back over what I wrote yesterday, I seem to have more of a clear thought process and a new set of emotions and I know that that is just what Jeremiah meant when he said in Lamentations 3:19 -23, "I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20, I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21, Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22, Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23, They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Did he write that just for Kris? or me? How did he know - know that Kris was suffering, that my soul was downcast? Whatever the "affliction" was that Jeremiah was talking about, it fits for me, and Kris. But, the bottom line for me is that God's compassion is NEW for me, and Kris this morning, compassion of healing, confusion, frustration and so on; my jumbled emotions.

And so, we begin a new day, untouched by the fear, anxiety, emotional trauma and anger of the "accident" and why it happened and what will happen; pressing on to new challenges, goals and relationships. We're sorry that Kris has to be the one to suffer the physical part of all of this but WE will all join in on the emotional, mental and spiritual truth from here on.

God Bless you all
Dad, Dennis