I'm really at a jumbled up frame of mind as I sit here trying to gather my emotions and thoughts so I can put into words, "on paper" so to speak, what my world is like right now; my world with my first born laying in a hospital bed in pain, confused, frustrated and not able to figure out that "the world" she is in right now is not normal. I guess I'm assuming, maybe incorrectly, that she's "thinking" it's not normal. In reality, who knows what she's thinking, who knows what she knows or doesn't know.
I'm making these statements based on a conversation that I had this morning with Kris's mother, Pat, who was able to see Kris recently.
An assessment of what Pat shared with me is that Kris has been opening her eyes, moving and speaking very short sentenances and is able to eat when fed. It is evident to Pat that Kris has suffered trauma to her brain and that has affected her responses and delayed her recognition of who people are, where she is, date and time, etc. At times she responded appropriately and immediately and other times she was obviously confused. Pat didn't say anything about reports of the condition and status of Kris's spinal injury however she did say that Kris did pull out her catheter, (ooww) so that will give you an idea of her ability to move, and so on a humorus ending note, Thank You Lord for that.
Saturday morning - I was expecting a call last night from Pat or Tonya on Kris's condition - didn't come in; that's ok. This morning as I read back over what I wrote yesterday, I seem to have more of a clear thought process and a new set of emotions and I know that that is just what Jeremiah meant when he said in Lamentations 3:19 -23, "I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20, I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21, Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22, Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23, They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Did he write that just for Kris? or me? How did he know - know that Kris was suffering, that my soul was downcast? Whatever the "affliction" was that Jeremiah was talking about, it fits for me, and Kris. But, the bottom line for me is that God's compassion is NEW for me, and Kris this morning, compassion of healing, confusion, frustration and so on; my jumbled emotions.
And so, we begin a new day, untouched by the fear, anxiety, emotional trauma and anger of the "accident" and why it happened and what will happen; pressing on to new challenges, goals and relationships. We're sorry that Kris has to be the one to suffer the physical part of all of this but WE will all join in on the emotional, mental and spiritual truth from here on.
God Bless you all
Dad, Dennis
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Time to catch up, Jan. 29,'09
It's been almost three days now since there's been an update on Kris's condition and I know that you all have been concerned and wondering how she's doing and what her progress is at this point. I hope that you all will understand that this has been a very difficult and frustrating time and the information has not been released as prompt as we would have liked.
I talked to Clint in person on Monday, Jan. 26, '09 and he said that "they" were not allowing any visitors in to see Kris because she was very weak and needed the rest. He said that "she ate lunch". I asked if she had had two strokes as was reported earlier and he said no. That was all the information that I was able to get at that time concerning her medical condition. I did, however, talk to the chaplin who was able to see Kris and talk to Clint. She reported that Kris was able to open her eyes. I certainly wish that there was more information I could pass on to all of you but we will all have to wait, some more. We are so thankful that there are so many of our family and friends that are committed to Kris, her family and her welfare. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of you and your concern for our Krissy.
Please continue to pray for Kris and her recovery and the mental and emotional needs of all the family.
God is SO faithful in His love, comfort and compassion and it is such a blessing to know that He will bring His plan and purpose to fruition.
God Bless all of you
Dad
I talked to Clint in person on Monday, Jan. 26, '09 and he said that "they" were not allowing any visitors in to see Kris because she was very weak and needed the rest. He said that "she ate lunch". I asked if she had had two strokes as was reported earlier and he said no. That was all the information that I was able to get at that time concerning her medical condition. I did, however, talk to the chaplin who was able to see Kris and talk to Clint. She reported that Kris was able to open her eyes. I certainly wish that there was more information I could pass on to all of you but we will all have to wait, some more. We are so thankful that there are so many of our family and friends that are committed to Kris, her family and her welfare. Words cannot express our gratitude for all of you and your concern for our Krissy.
Please continue to pray for Kris and her recovery and the mental and emotional needs of all the family.
God is SO faithful in His love, comfort and compassion and it is such a blessing to know that He will bring His plan and purpose to fruition.
God Bless all of you
Dad
Sunday, January 25, 2009
"Good Bye" message; Jan. 26, '09
The reports that have been received and sent out about Kris's condition and progress have come to us "second" or "third hand" so I pray that you will understand that we are passing on these reports as quickly and accurately as we can. Her mother and I and Tonya have not been allowed in to see her at this point and it has been extremely frustrating and difficult for us. Apparently that is due to her condition and Dr's orders.
Tonya reported to us that as of Sunday morning, Kris has been doing fairly well, breathing on her own and has apparently attempted to open her eyes. From the first reports of her condition upon arrival at Emanuel hospital, we can say that it is ONLY GOD that is allowing this progress to happen.
Wednesday night at our Life Group, my wife was praying this: "I anticipate the inevitable, supernatural, intervention of God - I expect a mericle" and that is just what this has been. People have said, "I don't know how you have been able to cope with this as well as you have, how do you do it?". The answer has always been the same, we know and believe in a "Daddy" that has compassion and loves us SO much, He wouldn't do, or have it any other way. We don't necessarily like it this way but we also know that He has a plan and a purpose. He NEVER makes a mistake or makes a wrong decision and doesn't need to change His plan.
No, this is not a "Good Bye" message that you might expect to hear after such a tragic accident, an accident that could have, and almost did take our Krissy's life. Rather, I share this to be a Thought Provoking message, a message that "Dad" reminded me of during the night and a message that I don't want to forget, ever.
Think about it; did you tell your son or daughter "I love you" this morning before he or she (or both) left for school? Did you say a harsh, unkind word to your spouse before going to work?
You parted ways this morning, EXPECTING to be reunited, at home or somewhere, carrying on with life and preparing for the next day as usual. Right?
So did Clint, Emily, Kaylah and Isaac.
I talked to Kris about two weeks earlier (than the accident), expecting to call her again as usual; now I can't - can't because she won't ( I really mean, CAN'T) answer the phone.
OH HOW MY HEART ACHES right now; aches because of all the missed opportunities to express my love for my wife, my kids, my grandkids, brother and sisters. Oh how I wish I could go back, retrieve my words (or LACK of) or change the way I thought and felt; give a longer hug (yes, even kiss) before I walk away.
Why, Why, Why does it sometimes take something tragic and interrupting before we open our eyes, think, feel and behave the way "Daddy" wants us to? Where is our (my) daily focus?
I have to say, I'm at that soul searching moment.
Come on; you've been there. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not the only one that has done this. Be Real!
Say, "Good Bye, I love you."
Krissy, I want you to know that we so desparately wanted to see you, touch you and talk to you.
I love you
Dad
Tonya reported to us that as of Sunday morning, Kris has been doing fairly well, breathing on her own and has apparently attempted to open her eyes. From the first reports of her condition upon arrival at Emanuel hospital, we can say that it is ONLY GOD that is allowing this progress to happen.
Wednesday night at our Life Group, my wife was praying this: "I anticipate the inevitable, supernatural, intervention of God - I expect a mericle" and that is just what this has been. People have said, "I don't know how you have been able to cope with this as well as you have, how do you do it?". The answer has always been the same, we know and believe in a "Daddy" that has compassion and loves us SO much, He wouldn't do, or have it any other way. We don't necessarily like it this way but we also know that He has a plan and a purpose. He NEVER makes a mistake or makes a wrong decision and doesn't need to change His plan.
No, this is not a "Good Bye" message that you might expect to hear after such a tragic accident, an accident that could have, and almost did take our Krissy's life. Rather, I share this to be a Thought Provoking message, a message that "Dad" reminded me of during the night and a message that I don't want to forget, ever.
Think about it; did you tell your son or daughter "I love you" this morning before he or she (or both) left for school? Did you say a harsh, unkind word to your spouse before going to work?
You parted ways this morning, EXPECTING to be reunited, at home or somewhere, carrying on with life and preparing for the next day as usual. Right?
So did Clint, Emily, Kaylah and Isaac.
I talked to Kris about two weeks earlier (than the accident), expecting to call her again as usual; now I can't - can't because she won't ( I really mean, CAN'T) answer the phone.
OH HOW MY HEART ACHES right now; aches because of all the missed opportunities to express my love for my wife, my kids, my grandkids, brother and sisters. Oh how I wish I could go back, retrieve my words (or LACK of) or change the way I thought and felt; give a longer hug (yes, even kiss) before I walk away.
Why, Why, Why does it sometimes take something tragic and interrupting before we open our eyes, think, feel and behave the way "Daddy" wants us to? Where is our (my) daily focus?
I have to say, I'm at that soul searching moment.
Come on; you've been there. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not the only one that has done this. Be Real!
Say, "Good Bye, I love you."
Krissy, I want you to know that we so desparately wanted to see you, touch you and talk to you.
I love you
Dad
Friday, January 23, 2009
Jan. 23, 2009, "To Do List"; WHAT?
I got the report from Tonya this afternoon that they have scheduled another MRI and that the results will be in later this evening. Apparently they are still very concerned with the condition of Kris's spinal cord and brain status. They were able to determine that at some point she had two strokes on the left side of her brain which would account for the lack of movement on her right side. They also took some fluid from her lungs for lab testing in their continued search for the infection that is also attacking her body.
Tonya said that they reported that Kris had a better night last night and thinking, "What?" That sounds so weird. When I think of our Krissy laying in a hospital bed, unable to move, hear, talk or even cry out in pain, how can they say that she had a "better night". God, help me to understand that; and here again, I find myself fighting my thoughts and emotions.
I AM deeply thankful for the medical staff and the most sincere desire they have to treat Krissy to the best of their abilities. Clearly they are doing all they can, giving their hearts and fulfilling their committment to do the job they chose as their occupation.
So, now, where am I with all of this?
I walked outside this morning to take my wife, Gwen to work and we see "the hand of 'Dad' with a paint brush, painting another beatiful sunrise that's extending to the west with a stroke of light blue that flows clear out of sight. All I can say is, "Thank you Lord." and we drive on. THEN, it's like, "Here, here's your 'To Do List' for the day". (No,it's NOT a Honey Do List.) I contemplated it for a minute and it seemed so long and impossible to complete today.
Then I hear; "Here's Krissy's To DO List". I was instantly humbled; it was completely blank, nothing. Except at the very bottom in small words it said, "You just rest today, I will do it for you. Signed, "Daddy"
I've looked at my list, again, and I see that I have not done anything except to sit at my computer and "blog" all day, it's such a long list, impossible I don't know where to start - take out the trash, do the dishes, wash the car, clean the garage, the yard - on and on; I haven't done anything. Then I hear, "Yes you have."
You see, I stated earlier, that one of the reasons that I started this blog was because I felt that "Dad" was telling me that because He allowed Krissy's accident He wants to reach out, reach out again, and will continue to reach out to those who have walked away from Him, who no longer talk to Him, who have their own plan in life, who think they can make it on their own and who think they have "TIME" to come back to Him before their "TIME" is up.
So then I say, "So, why didn't YOU choose someone else for this job, this pain and this "To Do List"? "BECAUSE I CHOSE YOU! ; there are some that only YOU will be able to reach for ME through this accident, this blog. "
Now, I have no idea WHO will read this or where they will be in the world, or in their life - but "Daddy" does. I want to say that I have nothing to gain from this blog site, nor expect anything except for God to get ALL the Glory. I want Him to DO what HE wants to do. If this touches you and you want to make that change in your life that He wants you to, Go to HIM, not me.
I have some more things to do on my "list" before the end of today so I've got to get going; I have worked at completing the tasks given to me and I'm confident that my list will be signed off as, "Daddy"
God Bless
Dad (Dennis)
Tonya said that they reported that Kris had a better night last night and thinking, "What?" That sounds so weird. When I think of our Krissy laying in a hospital bed, unable to move, hear, talk or even cry out in pain, how can they say that she had a "better night". God, help me to understand that; and here again, I find myself fighting my thoughts and emotions.
I AM deeply thankful for the medical staff and the most sincere desire they have to treat Krissy to the best of their abilities. Clearly they are doing all they can, giving their hearts and fulfilling their committment to do the job they chose as their occupation.
So, now, where am I with all of this?
I walked outside this morning to take my wife, Gwen to work and we see "the hand of 'Dad' with a paint brush, painting another beatiful sunrise that's extending to the west with a stroke of light blue that flows clear out of sight. All I can say is, "Thank you Lord." and we drive on. THEN, it's like, "Here, here's your 'To Do List' for the day". (No,it's NOT a Honey Do List.) I contemplated it for a minute and it seemed so long and impossible to complete today.
Then I hear; "Here's Krissy's To DO List". I was instantly humbled; it was completely blank, nothing. Except at the very bottom in small words it said, "You just rest today, I will do it for you. Signed, "Daddy"
I've looked at my list, again, and I see that I have not done anything except to sit at my computer and "blog" all day, it's such a long list, impossible I don't know where to start - take out the trash, do the dishes, wash the car, clean the garage, the yard - on and on; I haven't done anything. Then I hear, "Yes you have."
You see, I stated earlier, that one of the reasons that I started this blog was because I felt that "Dad" was telling me that because He allowed Krissy's accident He wants to reach out, reach out again, and will continue to reach out to those who have walked away from Him, who no longer talk to Him, who have their own plan in life, who think they can make it on their own and who think they have "TIME" to come back to Him before their "TIME" is up.
So then I say, "So, why didn't YOU choose someone else for this job, this pain and this "To Do List"? "BECAUSE I CHOSE YOU! ; there are some that only YOU will be able to reach for ME through this accident, this blog. "
Now, I have no idea WHO will read this or where they will be in the world, or in their life - but "Daddy" does. I want to say that I have nothing to gain from this blog site, nor expect anything except for God to get ALL the Glory. I want Him to DO what HE wants to do. If this touches you and you want to make that change in your life that He wants you to, Go to HIM, not me.
I have some more things to do on my "list" before the end of today so I've got to get going; I have worked at completing the tasks given to me and I'm confident that my list will be signed off as, "Daddy"
God Bless
Dad (Dennis)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Update to: From Dad
Jan. 22, 2009
As you read my new blog you will see that there are no Posts since jan. 14 the day of the accident however you can go to www.kristinasstatus.blogspot.com and get the information in between then and now.
I really began this blog because, first, I want to have some dialogue for Kris to read when she is able to; second, I feel that this will help me with my emotions and thoughts and third; I know that God has a plan and purpose for this accident (as we call it) and that there are literally thousands of thoughts and actions that ONLY GOD can do through this accident. Even at this point I have seen His hand in this and how it has touched thousands of people - family, friends, churches, co-workers - and ONLY GOD knows who else He will touch. With some of the things He's shared with me, I want to pass on to others because I know that there are many who have walked away from Him, who are going through the same thing, who have gotten angry with God, don't know what He's doing and who knows what else; and in some way, this may be the method that He wants to use to bring them back to Him, to give Him the Glory.
Along with all that, I know there are many who have contributed in some way to the family during this time and I want to share some of those that I see and deeply appreciate.
There are many scriptural and spiritual lessons that He has already given to me and my wife and family that I feel need to be passed on as well.
For now, thank you all for your prayers and support for Krissy and her family and friends.
Dad (Dennis)
As you read my new blog you will see that there are no Posts since jan. 14 the day of the accident however you can go to www.kristinasstatus.blogspot.com and get the information in between then and now.
I really began this blog because, first, I want to have some dialogue for Kris to read when she is able to; second, I feel that this will help me with my emotions and thoughts and third; I know that God has a plan and purpose for this accident (as we call it) and that there are literally thousands of thoughts and actions that ONLY GOD can do through this accident. Even at this point I have seen His hand in this and how it has touched thousands of people - family, friends, churches, co-workers - and ONLY GOD knows who else He will touch. With some of the things He's shared with me, I want to pass on to others because I know that there are many who have walked away from Him, who are going through the same thing, who have gotten angry with God, don't know what He's doing and who knows what else; and in some way, this may be the method that He wants to use to bring them back to Him, to give Him the Glory.
Along with all that, I know there are many who have contributed in some way to the family during this time and I want to share some of those that I see and deeply appreciate.
There are many scriptural and spiritual lessons that He has already given to me and my wife and family that I feel need to be passed on as well.
For now, thank you all for your prayers and support for Krissy and her family and friends.
Dad (Dennis)
The accident phone call
Jan. 14, 2009; approximately 10:30am
My cell phone rings; my sobbing daughter Tonya tries to clearly inform me that Kris has been in a serious vehicle accident at about 8:30am this morning. It sounds like she has crushed legs, face and head lacerations and who knows what all. They are taking her to Richland's Kadlec hospital.
Tonya says they are just going out the door to drive up there. As she talks, I scream, "NO, NO, GOD, NO." I'm crying, shaking and trying to hear. I hung up and called Gwen and told her I'm going. I call Ken to let him know and he says he'll be by to pick me up. Tonya calls again and asks how long it will take me to meet them. I woke up Bill and had him take me to Fishers Landing bus transit center to meet Pat, Tonya and Greg.
Traveling quietly, crying and waiting for the phone to ring from Clint with more information on the accident and how Kris's doing. Clint calls and reports that Kris has three broken bones in her neck, a large laceration on her head and possibly fractured left wrist. She is on a respirator for the time being and is only allowed brief visits.
We arrive at the hospital and see the tear filled eyes of Emily, Kailah and Isaac. At this point I don't remember who else is here.
Pat, Tonya and I go in to see Krissy; sobbing begins over her, almost unrecognizable, bruised face with tubes coming out of her mouth and nose and what seemed like hundreds of tubes in her arms. Arms wrapped in bandages and her hear with dried blood all on the right side of her head. The hair pulled back, I saw the metal staples from just in front of her right ear extending up to the top of her head and back into her hair on her neck. We sob more and say "I love you Sis" then leave the room.
Shortly Ken calls and we meet him down in the parking lot, Tina walking with him with tears in her eyes. We go up to see Krissy and the sobbing begins again. We go to the waiting room and join the others.
My cell phone rings; my sobbing daughter Tonya tries to clearly inform me that Kris has been in a serious vehicle accident at about 8:30am this morning. It sounds like she has crushed legs, face and head lacerations and who knows what all. They are taking her to Richland's Kadlec hospital.
Tonya says they are just going out the door to drive up there. As she talks, I scream, "NO, NO, GOD, NO." I'm crying, shaking and trying to hear. I hung up and called Gwen and told her I'm going. I call Ken to let him know and he says he'll be by to pick me up. Tonya calls again and asks how long it will take me to meet them. I woke up Bill and had him take me to Fishers Landing bus transit center to meet Pat, Tonya and Greg.
Traveling quietly, crying and waiting for the phone to ring from Clint with more information on the accident and how Kris's doing. Clint calls and reports that Kris has three broken bones in her neck, a large laceration on her head and possibly fractured left wrist. She is on a respirator for the time being and is only allowed brief visits.
We arrive at the hospital and see the tear filled eyes of Emily, Kailah and Isaac. At this point I don't remember who else is here.
Pat, Tonya and I go in to see Krissy; sobbing begins over her, almost unrecognizable, bruised face with tubes coming out of her mouth and nose and what seemed like hundreds of tubes in her arms. Arms wrapped in bandages and her hear with dried blood all on the right side of her head. The hair pulled back, I saw the metal staples from just in front of her right ear extending up to the top of her head and back into her hair on her neck. We sob more and say "I love you Sis" then leave the room.
Shortly Ken calls and we meet him down in the parking lot, Tina walking with him with tears in her eyes. We go up to see Krissy and the sobbing begins again. We go to the waiting room and join the others.
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